it's a sad song, but we sing it anyway

 Hello my muses,

It's been a bit since my last post and there is much to catch you up on, mainly the academic confusion I am in right now. Whilst it is not a total downfall, it is definitely not a comeback. In some subjects, well one in particular, I'm on the brink of failing. The only thing keeping me afloat is accounting, because I only need to put in half the effort as my other subjects and still get way better results. So things are a bit uncertain at the moment, especially regarding my ATAR... that's an end of year problem!

We are now into week five of term two. Basically halfway through classes as it ends early due to exams. And even after all this time, it hasn't hit me that this is actually it. This is my final year of high school. Everything I've worked for in the past six years comes down to this. And honestly, this year has not been going the way I expected. The glory of being in year 12 isn't really there, and the workload and stress outweighs the good. I never thought that in the final year of school, in my most important year, I would do the worst academically. Like, yeah, my subjects are hard and it's definitely different from junior school but I had the confidence within my soul to at least do decent. Right now, it's all feeling a bit meh. Also, there isn't much that separates this year from the last. Obviously, once the end of year comes that's when all the festivities happen, but right now it feels like an extension of last year. 

Been a bit of a downer, but it isn't all that bad. At school, we would play cards or board games whenever we have the chance to, which is mostly during study times. But it's fun and we all hang out together and it's something I'll miss about school. The social side of it. How we are all conveniently at the same place at the same time and it's so easy to strike up a conversation with anyone at anytime. What will happen next year when we all go different ways? How will we maintain this connection we've built over six years? I guess time will tell. For now, I will cherish the little moments at school. You know, one thing we get out of doing all these sacs (which I'm not even half way through for the term, but that's another story) is the rapport we build within the cohort (a-englang). After every sac, we come out asking how each other went and 'what did you get for question 2?'. At the end of the day, we are all on this ride together even if we are lowkey competing against one another. 

Okay that was a long rant about school. Moving on...

Yesterday, I went to see HADESTOWN with my family as well as foo anne and her family. And let me tell you, it was the best thing I had ever witnessed. I think I mentioned in a previous post that this was my most favourite musical in the whole wide world and I meant it. I first watched it through a grainy slime tutorial on youtube and fell in loveee with the songs and the story. I've always been into greek mythology (had a bit of a Percy Jackson phase) so I absolutely adored Orpheus and Eurydice's story. That's why watching this musical live was otherworldly. From the very first note in the very first song, I was transfixed. They came out with such strong energy that I felt like I was right there in the world with them. Which leads me to the set itself, which was beautiful. From the spinning floor to the balcony, everything was so cohesive and really added to the story. It was truly magical. One of the best things about this musical is the collection of 10/10 songs and the band that brings it to life. My favourite number is obviously 'Wait for Me Reprise' but I actually also love 'Chant'. The way Eurydice sings 'Oooorrrrpheus' in both 'Chant' and 'Doubt Comes In' is the most satisfying thing to me. Also, 'All I've Ever Known' was so heartwarming and I didn't want their happiness to ever end. But alas... no spoilers tho! 

That's my life update I guess. School has take over quite a lot, but I'm still finding happiness in the small things. Even if it's a little hard at times. 

Thanks for reading,

- Jessica